How do I interact with those experiencing Homelessness?
Homelessness is uncomfortable. It can be difficult to know how to interact with someone experiencing homelessness. So what should you do? Do you approach someone? Do you cross the street and pretend you didn’t see them?
We asked our youth for their input. How would they want someone to interact with them when they did/are experience/ing homelessness.
Many years ago I worked downtown Toronto with the Toronto City Mission. I would often pass by the Bloor and Spadina intersection. One day an older man was just South of the intersection asking for change. I didn’t know what to do and I was scared. So I asked him what he was going to do with the change. He replied that he was hungry and wanted to buy something to eat. I asked him if I could run to the A&P (yes…I’m dating myself here.) to get him some food. I selected a ham and cheese sandwich, a piece of fruit (I think it was an apple) and something to drink and brought it back to him. He thanked me and told me that he did not think I was coming back.
Over the next weeks and months this man and I occasionally interacted and got to know each other. One day I asked if he wanted to join me for lunch at the local Tim Horton’s. As we shared lunch he told me how he had a job and place to live and fell on hard times. He never thought he would be homeless but here he way. He asked me if I wanted to join him sometime to see what it was like on the streets. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe and away from harm.” he assured me. He mentioned that it was soon winter and not a good time but in the spring it would be better. After lunch I went back to work and parted ways.
I never saw him again. I am hopeful that he found his way out of homelessness…but I never saw him again. But through that interaction I realized that it is not for me to solve people’s problems and homelessness as much as it is for me to share our common humanity with one another.
Perhaps you are like me and don’t know what to or say when you see someone on the street asking for change or just even sitting there. We asked our youth for advice and this is what they told us.
DO
– Treat me as normal. Don’t get ‘sketched out’.
– Say ‘Hi’.
– Tell me if you know of something going on like a free BBQ and where it is.
– Offer me a cigarette or a light.
– Ask if I need anything.
– Just go about your day.
– Just come up and approach me.
– Give me sweets.
– Offer me cold water.
– Ask me if I’m warm enough. Give me gloves and a blanket.
– Ask me if I am OK.
– Just be nice.
– Listen after you ask me a question.
– Ask me what I would like when you offer to buy me something. (I don’t drink coffee but like tea.)
– Say ‘Hello”
– Smile at me.
– I feel really lonely so even a small conversation is nice.
– You can give me change or offer to buy me water.
– Ask me my name and remember it for the next time you see me.
– It is OK to offer to shake my hand when we meet.
DON'T
– Don’t assume I use drugs.
– Don’t look down on my.
– Don’t judge me.
– Don’t ask very personal questions if I don’t know you.
– Don’t give me canned food. I don’t have a can opener or a way to heat the food.
– Don’t stare at me.
– It makes me feel bad when people cross the street when they see me. I’m not mean or dangerous.